Fibromyalgia and married life

admin — Thu, 18 Dec 2008 13:09:45 +0000

On the one hand, chronic pain phagocyte our energy, by the fact that they are accompanied by activation body, that is why we often feel exhausted (e) s. On the other hand, they are a psychological burden by the fact that they have a signal and draw our attention to them. They reduce our perception and prevent us from fully living things of life.
Reality that can only affect the quality of married life, with one partner automatically influencing those of another.
As people with chronic pain are more sensitive than well in their relationships with themselves and others, they are often conducted to react with irritation, impatience or excessively. If these tensions can not be discharged to the outside – in one way or another – they have no choice but to return where they come from and the aggression was turned against the patient. This can lead to a long depression.
Patients almost always admit that their own partner becomes the receptacle for their ill-being. This is because that takes a lot more about themselves vis-à-vis the “foreigners” as family members earlier. Thus tensions may arise in the couple’s partner must take precautions must often respond only to invitations; go only to certain activities that we practiced before two or to take part in other activities indispensable partner for their achievement. This form of dependence is likely to generate in the patient an important psychological up a real moral distress. Patients can suffer reactions from their partner. They believe their partner devoid of empathy or tenderness. This does not in fact indifference, but rather reactions protection due to the feeling of helplessness he had to help. From a psychological point of view, this is called the “defense mechanisms”.
These mechanisms are manifested by:
denial, return used to maintain the mental stability of the partner who protects too suffers and is unable to act, but gives the impression to the patient not to be taken seriously in its suffering and its limitations. If one thinks, you realize that you ask the partner to integrate permanently the thought of our disease and that this is impossible, even with the best will in the world.
The aggressiveness expressed in the form of reproach, signs of bitterness and / or anger that ultimately carry the couple in a vicious circle where it will be difficult to leave.
The partner is himself exhausted and overcome by force. The couple is destabilized. Others suffering settle. A lonely two sets.
But a chronic disease can become a sort of challenge for married life: it can bring partners and lead to a process of maturation of torque to the extent where we will focus on opportunities for common behavior in all areas of daily life, charges to assume sexuality through children’s education and recreation …
Some rules to break the deadlock relational:
The pain is still a perception, hardly communicable and is not, so it is important that we tell our partner what we feel.
Do not expect the partner always understand. It is difficult to put in the place of another.
Do not lock him in the way the complaint: this may eventually lead to indifference. Asking the question: why the complaint speaks in me? What do I expect with this complaint? The possible answers: I hope he understands me and I would like to take me in the arm and I just need to talk about my pain, I know he can not remove me, I it helps me to undertake / finish this work, etc …) and replace the complaint by the desire behind it.
When projects or setting goals daily, or only wishes from the partner, avoid radical solutions (never accompany his partner, altogether something …), but think of the compromise, discuss (I have previously But not more). E.g. I go on vacation, but I will not do all the excursions. I do not able to ride today, I have a lot of pain, but I will try, I accept that to turn around, if this is too much for me. I do not want to have sex, but a gentle massage would be good to me. The key is to be imaginative and creative.
It is in this spirit that everyone can benefit from the couple, despite the difficulties outlined above. If problems very important, there is the possibility of external assistance (specialists trained in the field of marital counseling and existential questions).

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Fibromyalgia and married life